Oliwenstein asserts that marriage places a permanent companion close and provides one with numerous benefits such as good health and decreased stress levels, and thus, despite the conflict and frustration that it may entail, is still a worthy institution to enter and believe in. I agree with her views – marriage is indeed a sacrosanct ceremony that confirms love between two people, commits them to each other, and legitimizes intimacy. Yet marriage is only good when the two parties involved are fully aware of the principles and requirements they have to adhere to and fulfill, not when each party remains self-righteous and uncompromising, or when the union is merely based on puppy love.
Tales such as Romeo and Juliet often tell us that marriage, or the desire to marry, causes more grief than happiness. However, we must recognize that a marriage – a centuries-old legal and religious ritual – is always regarded as a celebration. Matrimony allows two people who care for each other to do so openly and officially, and allows the two to consummate their love and start a family unit of their own. Marital bliss and satisfaction from raising children (arguably, products of a man’s and woman’s love) aside, marriage also provides tangible benefits such as better health and general wellbeing, just as Oliwenstein wrote in her article. The support which a spouse lends to his/her significant other in crucial times, such as a parent’s death or losing of one’s job, cannot be duplicated elsewhere. Therefore, marriage is an institution that gives meaning to two people’s affection and helps further cultivate positive feelings of care and concern for each other.
However, the sacred meaning of marriage has been heavily distorted in recent times. Far from an eternal commitment from each other, couples can easily renounce their vows to each other with divorces. Unfortunately, divorces have been on the rise – in America alone, almost half of all marital unions culminate in separation. Whereforth is the meaning of the promise to stick by each other through rich or poor, health or sickness? When couples meet conflicts and disagreements with each other nowadays, they are less likely to compromise, but instead insist on having their own way. Mundane details such as financial loans and mortgage repayments also take a toll on the relationship between two people married to each other – and in the event that they cannot reconcile their differences, separation is now the easy answer. Oliwenstein also mentions in her article incidents of name-calling and eye-rolling between couples, which inevitably drive a wedge between the two. The ability to tolerate, accept and hear out the other person’s views has now become an impediment to a successful marriage. Not surprising then, have the proponents of marriage decreased.
The increase in incidences of sex before marriage and teenage pregnancies also serve to give evidence to the claim that marriage has now been reduced to mere frivolity. Blind infatuation and lack of judgement have led to many adolescents and young adults succumbing to temptations of the flesh, therefore trivializing the holy and moral grounds of marriage. In Singapore alone, 40% of girls younger than 21 have already taken part in sexual intercourse. The giving up of one’s body so easily violates its sanctity and undermines the need of marriage to legitimize love between two people. Also, unwanted pregnancies often force two people to get married to each other out of sheer obligation, without careful consideration. In such cases then marriage is only a tiresome burden of mistakes and unhappiness.
In conclusion, the institute of marriage is only beneficial and good if its fundamental principles of faithfulness, tolerance and love are adhered to. Stubbornly sticking to one’s point of view in conflicts and engaging in activities such as pre-marital sex or unfaithfulness only reduces the worth of marriage and makes it a source of grief and anguish rather than one of happiness and satisfaction. Therefore, Oliwenstein’s view is valid – though only when applied to the context of well-considered marriages where both parties are truly committed to each other, can the real meaning of marriage be experienced.
Marks awarded: 8
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